A day in the life of green hat, Samara, fingernails, geisha and me.

'Sometimes, perfection can be perfect hell.'

- Jack's Mannequin

Green hat lady, you sadden me. I don't know which eye to look at, and they're both just seem to be waiting for you to stumble out of one into another.

But I know that's just me.

I know you don't care, and your mouth twitches like a fish.
Up and down, slide and out.

I guess I'm the cliche you're used to, I guess you're tired and impervious to my stating that I you make me sad cause somewhere in the green fathoms of you I see a little, obscure, dismembered part of me.

And I can't tell which part that might be.

'..this hurts like hell
I had that dream again where
I was lost for good in outer space.'

-Jack's Mannequin

This painting is horrific.

That girl scares me.

And for once, I think I almost know what Picasso's saying.

Its like..he turned her inside out, and put her on display.

It just feels voyeuristic and macabre and disconcerting, like someone catching a glimpse of your mind.

God, I KNOW how ugly I am on the inside, I don't need to be told.

I don't need to be shown.

'With the lightning this close I can see That so much in this world is make believe And this ticking clock isn't for me And still nobody knew I need you..'

-Jack's Mannequin

This is probably the only one that doesn't depress me, and to tell the truth its just this mood I've worked myself into.


It reminds me of,

'I don't recommend it, but it is one way to live.'

-Bright Eyes

So I know, and she knows, and you know that I can get by just sitting there laughing and laughing at you. Till the hell to pay gets bigger and bigger, and I can't see past the vacuum.

'Its like how much more black could it get? The answer is none more black. None more black.'

-This is spinal tap



'Through this hole in my chest I can feel
That so much is this world isn't real
And there's some things that you cannot steal..'

-Jack's Mannequin

I guess you can be her, or you can be me.

You can choose to have pride, 'man up' and be stoic and alone and twisted all your effed up life.

Or you can give up on that like me, and be miserable, and hysterical and grovelling and ecstatic and vulnerable and insane and furious and never all there.

The other options don't even matter.

I guess that means that most of you don't matter.

I suppose I screw up a lot, and I demand a lot out of people.

But I was built like that, and if I'm a little blue, and a little too many things, I'm a little I give a shit about you too.

#failpost